Jun. 23rd, 2012

wire_mother: (Default)
I have a very strange reaction to events that seem to require immediate action. I'll act pretty quickly, making quick decisions and observing the situation while also participating in it. Afterward, though, I tend to break down and feel terribly sad and in very low spirits. This happens even if the situation is not one that includes sadness (though it also happens, as in this case, when sadness seems appropriate).

So, right now I've got the sorts of depressed thoughts that I have to ignore (this entry is part of ignoring them) which I had mostly gotten over during the last few years. It's still hard to motivate myself to do anything while these sorts of self-attacking thoughts are running through my head. Even writing this, I've been pausing for a minute or more in between each sentence. When I make mistakes while typing, I can't help but thinking that I am useless, even as I correct the error.

Anyway, the central point is that I am terribly worried right now, because I can't help but think of worst-case scenarios. I hate worrying, because it serves (in situations like this) no purpose at all. Events will happen whether I worry about them or not, and worry just keeps my mind actively gouging itself.

I hope that this finds you, my friends, well.


wire_mother: (Default)

February 2013

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